Competition-- It's Not All Its Cracked Up to Be

Oh.. so did you expect me to talk about archery? Well, joke's on you, I'm actually going to talk about bowling.

A while back, I was bowling with my boyfriend and a couple of our friends, and one of the guys had mentioned that every time he played, that he would lose. Our other friend was a pretty fair bowler. He was consistent and was hard to beat, at least for us, because once he got a couple strikes and some spares, it was almost impossible to catch up after all that. Well, the friend that kept getting beat had mentioned that he always got beat and it was because he was just too competitive. He always thought about it too much and he got in his head.

Last night we decided to go out and knock a couple pins down and he had decided to just be calm, cool, and see what happens. If he got beat, it was nothing different than any other night, but on the off chance that he were to do better, then he gets to win a game. He lobs the ball down the range and voilà, strike. Then he throws the ball again and bam, spare. Throws again and he knocks 9 down. At the end of the frame, he ended up winning the game. Next game, he won again. The game after that, another win.

I only bowl maybe once a year, so I have no idea about technique, I just know a small portion of what the game really is, but there seemed as if there was no real technique that he was using when he threw the ball. He didn't even use the holes in the ball, he just picked it up and rolled it down the range with both hands. Still won the game.

So about now you're probably wondering where I am going with all of this. What I am trying to say is that you don't have to have the best equipment, you don't need to be the one who is the most knowledgeable, and you definitely don't have to be the one that has the most experience either. Our friend was just relaxed and having fun and then everything followed through with it. He was even beating some of the better bowlers in the range who had custom balls, with his green, 14 pound bowling alley ball.

I think that competition is a word that gets overused a little too much. I also think that this word can also become something that can take over a person and absolutely wreck what they are doing. Now of course there is what I would consider a "sister phrase" or a "cousin phrase" to this word, which is, "friendly competition" and this phrase I have no problem with. In friendly competition, yes you can put more pressure on yourself, but that pressure helps you fight longer and harder in order to become better. This is, of course, while you are having fun at whatever you are doing; maybe throw some jokes around. Though, just competition on its own? No.

When you stress and worry who you are up against, what they are doing, and how you are doing up against them, there is never a good outcome. Some people can get away with this, but the majority cannot. I have two examples. The first one would be in archery. (I just can't get away from this topic). When I am shooting in a large competition, every once in a while I will look up at the scores. Normally, this doesn't help me, because I will see where I am placed and if I see that and I am below where I want to be, then I become stressed in the fact that I am too far down the list and I try too hard to make my way up to first place, but that only makes me shoot worse. I just put too much pressure on myself and overthink the situation. If I see that I am exactly where I want to be, then I will relax too much and will probably make a couple slip ups in my shots and I will fall down from where I want to be. If I were to just not look at the scores, just focus on me and my goals, then I wouldn't end up stressing or relaxing too much and I would then and only then place well.

Another example could be in a work atmosphere. You are told that in order to create the best product pitch and that you are put into a group and there is another group you are up against. They made the two groups, so that the pressure helps create the best pitch, because both groups will be working hard to beat the other. You are given your assignment for the pitch and are told to go out and create within a limited amount of time. Your group gets together to create the pitch, but if you are always concentrated on what the other group is going to create and then how to beat them, then first, you may never get your project done in time, because you are thinking about the other group instead of yourself. Second, you may assume that you know what the other group is doing, but you will never know until they present their pitch. You could think they are coming from one angle when in reality they are actually going off a whole different side. Though, if you just focus on your group and how you can make the absolute best pitch you absolutely can in the limited time and present it, you may just come up with a winner!

Don't let pressures, stress, and competition get in your way. I only say this, because I am only the same. I can put too much pressure on myself and shoot a 293/300 (with 300 being perfect). On a completely different day where I was relaxed, having fun, talking to my friends, but when I was shooting I was serious about what I was doing, I shot a 296. That may not look like a huge difference, but it really is in archery. Every point is important.

It is amazing to see the difference in anything when you are stressed versus not stressed. The results are SO different! As I have said before, get out of your head! Most of the time we get in our own heads and it only just brings us down. We have all of the tools and the skills to do what we want, it all just depends on if we truly BELIEVE in our heads that we can do it. One of my team members told me, "Today is just a bad day" and I told her that it was only going to be a bad day if she kept saying that to herself. If she were to only tell herself, "Today hasn't been the best, but right here, right now I am going to make a turn around and my scores will be great!" I would have loved to see how much she would have improved.

One last story. This also reminds me of a story in the Bible that I was told about and of course from one of my favorite apostles ever. This was Peter. I think I liked him the most, because he was the most human and had the most human-like qualities. He loved Jesus with all of his heart, but yet he made mistakes, and God still forgave him. This story was when all of the apostles were in their fishing boat in the middle of a storm. They saw something out on the water and the disciples were afraid, except Peter, because he knew it was Jesus. He yelled out to Jesus asking if he could come out onto the water with Him and Jesus invited out. Peter took a step out of the boat, keeping his focus on Jesus and started doing the impossible, walking on water. Then I can only imagine what was going through his head after a while of feeling the water on his feet without going under... "I'm actually doing it! I'm walking on water! I can't believe this..." and at that moment that's probably where his head dipped down to look to see that he was actually doing what he thought he was doing. Then of course, since his eyes weren't on Jesus, because he didn't fully believe that he was walking on water and had that one bit of doubt, he started sinking.

The Bible also mentions that we get fit a camel through the eye of a needle and with God, we can move mountains, but those will never happen if we don't have the belief to do it!

Don't let your head get in the way of your success! Take it from me, because I have done it more times than I would like to count. Everything is based on perspective, how you look at a challenge, and go through with it. It all depends on what you think you can do and what you think you can't do. So the next time you come up against some sort of competition with someone else or come up against and obstacle between you and your success, always tell yourself that you can do it. Always be optimistic. No one is perfect and you might fail. No one is perfect, but I would rather believe that I can do something and do it or maybe fail a little, than to know I will fail and then fail as much as I believe I can. Also, always remember, to stay cool, calm, relaxed, and have a little fun while your at it and I am sure whatever you are doing, you'll do it significantly better!